Thursday, December 22, 2011

The Turtleneck


My mother hated her long neck but she loved turtlenecks.  Not for herself, but for me and my 3 sisters.  They covered us up well.  We even wore them under our ghastly school uniforms when it was cold enough.  No need to show your arms, neck, chest or midsection when you’ve got a turtleneck.  We had them in all colors, ribbed, smooth, wool and synthetics.  Single folds, double folds and even triple folds where part of your face could be hidden too.  And when paired with pants, or a long skirt, it was hard to distinguish whether we had skin at all.  I guess when you’ve got 4 daughters, the turtleneck is a form of “boy” protection.  I wonder how many dates we lost simply because our necks were in question.  My sisters and I wondered about the turtleneck phenomena too.  Our mother didn’t wear them.  Why must we be subjected to these body cover-ups????  They were even masked as Christmas presents.  We’d tear open identical-sized boxes to discover – whoopee, another turtleneck. They took over our lives! BTW--have you seen those scarves that wrap around the neck forever and a day?  I want two in every color.  Dysfunction lives.  I’ll say no more.

And no matter what your neck looks like, keep your sunscreen handy.  Yeah, baby!

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